“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.” ~ Anthony Robbins
Egos are funny critters. To function in our daily lives, we need ego to make statements for us. “I am...” Ego is our identity, the face we show the world. We need ego to get where we are going and yet ego can also hold us back. Ego wants us to be the best, shiniest, coolest kid with the most cake. And ego doesn’t like it when we see other kids who have cake too.
Does she have more cake than I do?
Competition does have its place - I love the Olympics! But competition can also create some gnarly nasty feelings too. There’s the Compare and Despair game we play with ourselves - “He’s more successful than I am. I suck.” Or there’s It’s Not Fair. “It’s not fair...she gets all the breaks.” Egos eat up these games and leave us feeling angry, depressed, frustrated or defeated.
Being competitive by nature, I used to suffer these games. But I don’t get rattled the way I was before.
In 2017, I took life coach training. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made. One of the best tools in my toolbox of life is the realization that there is enough for all of us.
When you think there isn’t enough of whatever to go around for everyone, you get scarcity mentality. According to the Power of Positivity website,
“Having thoughts and feelings of scarcity automatically orients the mind towards unfulfilled wants and needs. Furthermore, scarcity often leads to lapses in self-control while draining the cognitive resources needed to maximize opportunity and display judgment. Willpower also is depleted, which makes one prone to feelings of giving up. People in this state attend to the urgent while neglecting important choices that will have a drastic effect on the future.”
Not where I want to be, that’s for sure. I started thinking that there’s an abundance...of money, of clients, of love. It has changed my life.
Regarding money, I used to think frequently, “I can’t afford that.” When I read Jen Sincero’s book, “You Are A Badass At Making Money,” she shook my world.
“If you send out thoughts like, I can’t afford to go on vacation and I don’t see that changing anytime soon, the Universe is like, Noted! You can’t afford it. Stuck at home it is! Just as your thoughts created the financial reality you’re experiencing right now, you can also use them to overpower what “is” to manifest whatever reality you set your mind to.
Sounds like wishful thinking? Try it. When I did, when I stopped saying “I can’t afford it” with something that would totally improve my life like training, I started thinking, hmmm, maybe I can afford it...and I’m going figure out how.
With clients, I truly believe there is enough work for everyone. Cathy Heller, host of one of my favorite podcasts called “Don’t Keep Your Day Job,” talks about this. She encourages people to follow their passion. She says if your passion is to bake, fir example, don’t be discouraged because there are already other bakers in your area. She says to follow your unique gift for baking. And Cathy knows what she’s talking about...She is growing one of the biggest, most engaged audiences in the podcast world. She has thousands of listeners who write and share their success stories.
I’ve experienced this myself. When I decided to be a writing coach and publisher, I reached out to other writing coaches, writers and people in the writing profession. I could have avoided them or made them the competition in my mind. Instead, I embraced abundance and met with these other writers. Turns out each of us has our own niche and gifts. I will refer people to the other local writers or coaches if I feel they are a better fit to work with someone else. And they do the same for me! It’s really a cool and collaborative way to think and live. I love it!
When it comes to love, there is definitely an abundance. Yup, even in this sometimes crazy and seemingly divisive world. We can try to shout each other down but really that’s not terribly effective. Has a rant on Facebook ever convinced someone to vote a different way? Probably not. But reaching out to someone with compassion does make a difference.
The secret sauce is being thankful for what we have. I love the quote at the top of this article. When we are grateful it makes all the difference. When ego takes a backseat to gratitude your whole world changes.